In the Living Kitchen

Musings, memories, meals in the making.

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A dress, a dress, a dress

I am planning a wedding, my wedding to be exact, and it’s not as easy as thought it would be. I was in denial about the whole thing for a while. Not about being with Sam, no! I have been in denial of how difficult making something exactly what I want it to be is. And this something is a big celebration with lots of somethings needed to make it perfect. I always picture things perfectly but nothing is ever as perfect as pictured.

Right now the something I am working on is the dress. What fun is a wedding without getting all gussied up? Okay, there’s the friends, the music, the food, but if ever there were an excuse to dress up, your own wedding is the place. I have never been one to plan much ahead, or do anything in advance, so when I was looking at dresses every so often on the web 8 months before our wedding, I thought I was on top of the ball. When I was thinking about when to go dress shopping 6 months before our wedding date, I thought I was golden. I thought, why not wait until I am at my “farming weight” to buy a dress so it won’t need to be altered so much? That would put me in July, 3-4 months before our wedding. Apparently not a good idea. So after a few gasps at this news from friends and acquaintances, I made some appointments and am going dress shopping in 4 days.

The whole commercial-cultural-bridal-craze notwithstanding, I can understand where the custom of finding a dress 6-8 months prior to the wedding day comes from. A quality, handmade garment takes time. On top of that, I would like my dress to be made of ethically sourced, sustainably manufactured materials, which, when you pair that with style, is rare. Is this my form of being a “bridezilla?” Asking people, “Who made this? How much do they get paid? Where is the material from? What’s it made of? Does it contain toxic chemicals?” Or rather, shouldn’t this be my attitude every single time I spend a dime? I admit to falling off the wagon when necessity outweighs price or availability, but perhaps it should take 6 months to shop for anything?

Plus, there’s the white thing to boot. Here’s the thing, I don’t really want to wear white. I am not pure, I am not a virgin, why misrepresent? Turns out, a white wedding dress is actually a quite arbitrary wedding tradition. While most people think it’s a symbol of purity (ahem) it’s not. Or at least, that’s not why the tradition started. Which, you would think would make it okay with me. So, I admit it, the five-year-old inside of me who was raised to think that her only value in life would be to serve god, get a husband and have children always pictured a white dress. And while I sometimes coo (silently) at some of these dresses I am seeing, I really am trying to rebel against that little five-year-old me, even though I am fulfilling her “happily ever after” fantasy, after many promises not to.

Besides, what’s the point of buying a beautiful dress that fits perfectly if you will never wear it again? I was recently told that it used to be custom to wear your wedding dress to a dinner party soon after being wed. Because your wedding dress was just a dress. What happened to that custom? Well, I could tell you my theory, but this has gone on long enough.

I decided that I need a place for this wedding stuff, and for a while, this is going to be it. For about 3 months I haven’t spoken about it to any one. But we are planning some really amazing stuff! An awesome band (or maybe two!)! Practically handmade invitations by local artisans! Kegs of home brew for the big day! Home-grown vegetables for the food! Home-grown flowers too! Vintage table cloths! Paper lanterns every where! Pies, oh my, pies!

(Although, I must say, I find it awesome that my fermentation posts are getting so many hits. Keep fermenting!)

Lastly, here is Sam’s vegan chocolate birthday cake. His favorite foods? Chocolate cake and pizza. Oh, that guy.